So this is a weird collection of sayings/paragraphs, which I found interesting.... thought I'd share:
SPURGEON:
"Psalm 130:1:
Out of the depths have I cried unto You, O Lord.
God's people have to go into the depths and God's people have to pray in the depths- and often pray their best in the depths! The rarest pearls lie deepest in the sea and the most precious prayers come out of the depths of affliction-"Out of the depths have I cried unto You, O Lord." Cannot many of you say the same? Looking back upon your past afflictions and trials, yet you can feel that you did pray in them. He that can pray in the depths will soon sing in the heights! If you can pray, you cannot be drowned by all the seas that roll over you. God who brought you into them will bring you out of them if you can pray."
UNKNOWN:
"But this you must remember
This one thing you must know
I cannot take your burden
Until you let it go."
OSWALD CHAMBERS:
"The purpose of prayer is to reveal the presence of God equally present all the time in ever condition."
ELIZABETH GEORGE:
"No decision made without prayer."
UNKNOWN:
"All prayer is transparent to God."
Blessings,
ChristianGirl3420
Sunday, 16 September 2012
Tough week.
Hey guys,
So the past week has been impossible feeling. I work in a nursery. Which is amazing. I love the kids I work with so much.
And so I was walking into work, and when I got into work my colleague told me that a child had died. It was completely out of the blue. And I was just paralysed by it. He was healthy, and then the next day he was gone.
I felt like I couldn't cry at work, I didn't want to be that open with my emotions. But it was impossible to look at photos of him and not cry. This beautiful boy is gone, he never got a chance. And I do. I pray that his mum was survives, I can't imagine how she could cope with that kind of loss.
He came to give us some love, and now he has gone to a better place.
He will always be in our hearts, and we will never forget him.
I feel like I want to escape, to forget about this. Just for a night, an hour, anything. I don't want to carry round the pain of losing him. I thought about drinking, I thought about cutting.
I did drink. The first night. I slipped. I felt like I needed to relax. It didn't relax me at all. It stressed me out. I felt so sick, it's been so long since I drank I don't think my body could really handle that much at once. But once I gave in for one sip I just fell into it all. It didn't make me forget either. I just cried and cried. I felt so angry.
But I know that no matter how much I drink or harm I will always remember again. He was beautiful. And that's what I want to remember. The pain of losing him is nothing compared to the joy I know he is experiencing at going home to his Father.
The morning after drinking I was praying, saying sorry. For screwing up. Again. And it just really hit me: Jesus knew this would happen when He died on the cross. He knew this would happen when He created the universe. He's in charge and I don't need to be afraid, neither do I need to feel like I have to run away from the truth. He died. But it was no accident, God was in that moment, holding his hand, welcoming his soul home.
So I've made it to the end of the week. I still feel like he will come in to nursery tomorrow. I still don't quite believe it. I'll see him again though.
Blessings,
ChristianGirl3420
So the past week has been impossible feeling. I work in a nursery. Which is amazing. I love the kids I work with so much.
And so I was walking into work, and when I got into work my colleague told me that a child had died. It was completely out of the blue. And I was just paralysed by it. He was healthy, and then the next day he was gone.
I felt like I couldn't cry at work, I didn't want to be that open with my emotions. But it was impossible to look at photos of him and not cry. This beautiful boy is gone, he never got a chance. And I do. I pray that his mum was survives, I can't imagine how she could cope with that kind of loss.
He came to give us some love, and now he has gone to a better place.
He will always be in our hearts, and we will never forget him.
I feel like I want to escape, to forget about this. Just for a night, an hour, anything. I don't want to carry round the pain of losing him. I thought about drinking, I thought about cutting.
I did drink. The first night. I slipped. I felt like I needed to relax. It didn't relax me at all. It stressed me out. I felt so sick, it's been so long since I drank I don't think my body could really handle that much at once. But once I gave in for one sip I just fell into it all. It didn't make me forget either. I just cried and cried. I felt so angry.
But I know that no matter how much I drink or harm I will always remember again. He was beautiful. And that's what I want to remember. The pain of losing him is nothing compared to the joy I know he is experiencing at going home to his Father.
The morning after drinking I was praying, saying sorry. For screwing up. Again. And it just really hit me: Jesus knew this would happen when He died on the cross. He knew this would happen when He created the universe. He's in charge and I don't need to be afraid, neither do I need to feel like I have to run away from the truth. He died. But it was no accident, God was in that moment, holding his hand, welcoming his soul home.
So I've made it to the end of the week. I still feel like he will come in to nursery tomorrow. I still don't quite believe it. I'll see him again though.
Blessings,
ChristianGirl3420
Hiya...
Hi.
So I guess I want to start this blog to write about being a Christian girl, and struggling with self-harm. Because I guess its not really something you ever hear about in Church or anything.
The aim is ultimately is ultimately is to bring glory to God.
So: Background on me :)
I've been a Christian since 21.11.11.
I'm 17.
I live in London.
I've been struggling with harming and drinking since I was 12.
I have a boyfriend.
I left school, I work in a nursery.
So what I want to do with this thing is encourage people, to keep going. Its been a really long road for me, and since starting therapy I am now harming more occasionally than every day. Which it used to be.
But every day still feels like a battle, and probably will do for the rest of my life. I guess the difference is now that I have God's strength on my side, which is awesome. It's my prayer that I can encourage you to let go from fighting the battle, because it's a battle that Jesus already won on the cross.
I am just going to write about my days. Share what encourages me, and what has helped me to keep going.
Blessings,
ChristianGirl3420
So I guess I want to start this blog to write about being a Christian girl, and struggling with self-harm. Because I guess its not really something you ever hear about in Church or anything.
The aim is ultimately is ultimately is to bring glory to God.
So: Background on me :)
I've been a Christian since 21.11.11.
I'm 17.
I live in London.
I've been struggling with harming and drinking since I was 12.
I have a boyfriend.
I left school, I work in a nursery.
So what I want to do with this thing is encourage people, to keep going. Its been a really long road for me, and since starting therapy I am now harming more occasionally than every day. Which it used to be.
But every day still feels like a battle, and probably will do for the rest of my life. I guess the difference is now that I have God's strength on my side, which is awesome. It's my prayer that I can encourage you to let go from fighting the battle, because it's a battle that Jesus already won on the cross.
I am just going to write about my days. Share what encourages me, and what has helped me to keep going.
Blessings,
ChristianGirl3420
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)